The right way to complete income taxes

There is a right way to do just about everything, including preparing the tax return for the preceding year.  For example there is a right way to load a dish washer and a right way to fold men's tee-shirts.  If you are  interested I am willing to teach you.  But don't dare ask Mary because she has flunked the course every time she has taken it.  

Since you asked, I will give you the guidelines for preparing tax returns - free of charge:

1. During the tax year, give enough to churches and other worthwhile causes to reduce your tax liability to 5-10% of gross income.
2. File an extension in early January.
3. On April 8 begin preparing the return.  Be sure your wife is out of the house.
4. On April 15 (or 18 this year) head to the post office with your forms at 11:30 pm.
5. When you return home reward yourself with a big bowl of ice cream topped with orange slices.

When our kids were younger, I could convince them that it was fun to go to the post office close to midnight.  Those days are long gone.  But my tradition continues. I just finished my bowl of ice cream and orange slices.