Forgiving and Forgetting

This is the hardest of all lessons to learn for me in my life because I am blessed/cursed with a long memory of things past. It's great to be able to remember each and every Christmas of your life since age 2, but not so great to remember every single fight your parents had or that you ever had with your siblings or spouse! Belive me, there are things I wish that I could forget. Two of my siblings have actually asked me to relate to them the events of their own early lives (say before age 12), because they say they have no real specific memories of which teachers they had, or what places they visited, or what they got for Christmas in any given year. (I'm sure being at the bottom of the birth order in our large family made memories get confused.)

As I said in class today, the one thing I have learned this year in our Crosswalk class discussions is that God will ease the pain of those memories in our minds if we ask Him to. It does not change the facts of what happened long ago, but it does change our reactions to those long-ago hurts. He truly does "bear our burdens for us", thank God. -- Marthann

God Can Use People Through Relationships

September 19, 2009 by David Ashcraft
God sometimes uses the strangest of relationships to carry out his will.  Philemon was a leader in one of the earliest churches - his story is found in the book of Philemon.  He was a friend of the first evangelist-missionary, Paul.  One of Philemon's slaves ran away, stealing from Philemon, becoming a Christian under Paul's ministry.  He actually became one of Paul's helpers, possibly a young preacher.  Paul used his personal relationship with Philemon and with the slave to encourage the restoration of the relationship between Philemon and the slave.  Paul was able to do this because of his relationship with Jesus.
There are other examples in the Bible of God's will being accomplished through unusual relationships.  Chuck Swindoll relates one, also involving Paul; the incident is found in Acts 19:32-41. Here is my edited version of Chuck's commentary:
If you live intimidated by people, then you need to come to terms with your lack of peace. God is bigger than any person.

You don't need to dread tomorrow. You don't need to dread your uncontrollable circumstances. It's a decision that's called "a frame of mind," otherwise known as leaning on the everlasting Rock.God uses relationships to guide us, protect us and encourage us.  Sometimes we know the people God uses, and other times the one acting at God's direction is unknown to us.

That's what we learn from the life of Paul in Acts 19:21-41.  He faced an uncertain future - 

So then, some were shouting one thing and some another, for the assembly was in confusion and the majority did not know for what reason they had come together. (v. 32)

Envision this scene. Here's Paul doing that which is right, and here's a group of folks who misunderstand and believe he's doing the wrong thing. They're confused and at odds with each other. A group of about fifty thousand is out there shouting for two hours (v. 34). Then out of the blue, a clerk who is responsible for law and order and keeping people on the right track stands to his feet.

He gets his paycheck from Rome, by the way, and he knows that Rome hates riots. He also realizes this city would soon lose its freedom if order didn't return. And nobody, save Athens enjoyed their freedom more than Ephesus. So he knows he has to calm them down if only to keep himself on the payroll.

The beautiful part is that he doesn't know Paul and Paul doesn't know him, yet God uses him to quiet the multitude. Let's just follow along as he speaks.

"For you have brought these men here who are neither robbers of temples nor blasphemers of our goddess." (v. 37)

That's true!

"So then, if Demetrius and the craftsmen who are with him have a complaint against any man [let's do it right], the courts are in session and proconsuls are available; let them bring charges against one another. But if you want anything beyond this, it shall be settled in the lawful assembly." (v. 38-39)

The reason? Verse 40---Rome is watching!

"For indeed we are in danger of being accused of a riot in connection with today's events, since there is no real cause for it, and in this connection we shall be unable to account for this disorderly gathering."

"Go home!" Verse 41:

And after saying this he dismissed the assembly.

Who did it? A clerk.

While you and I are panicked, not knowing about our tomorrow, God is moving clerks around His board like pawns. You and I can't see His chess board. We don't know the right moves, because we're not God. All we know is our little square, if that! And we cannot move. "It's tough being a rook held in place by a bishop, ya know." We're afraid we'll get picked off. But there is peace as long as God has some pawns.

He never runs out of pawns. He never runs out of clerks. He doesn't need you to pull it off. He's doing it. When will we ever learn that? And when will we learn that God cannot lose?  And, when will we learn that we are often called to be the clerk that quiets the crowd?

(Chuck and I share this similarity.) I was so uncertain about my future as an adolescent. I stuttered badly and didn't think I'd ever be able to give the time of day, much less deliver a speech. But a "town clerk," my high school drama teacher, saw something in me I didn't see. He helped me through speech therapy. I didn't know how to speak in public. But through him, I learned. Eventually, the uncertainty of my future was turned around. Public speaking was an open door I'd never considered as an even remote possibility. High school teachers, pay attention! You can be a "clerk" on God's board.

How about mothers who have kiddos struggling with who they are and where they're going and what they're doing and why they're important? Moms, in those day-to-day, constant assignments you suddenly become God's "town clerk." As such, you take charge of and free your child so that he begins to grow in confidence and can get on his way in life. It happens through the painful, consistent, daily, constant effort of motherhood. Small wonder it's under attack today!

You who hold any position at work, you who work with anyone (and that's everybody, that's all of us), the Lord wants to use us as the "clerk" in somebody else's need for peace. He simply wants us to be available.

God's will

September 18 by Sandra Stephens
After teaching second grade SS for seven years I found myself feeling that it was time to step down. "How could I do that?", I asked myself. With the exception of an occasional illness and a week end trip every now and then, I had been in the classroom with "my kids" every week and loved every moment of it. The Lord made it very clear to me when He told me to begin teaching, and I prayed that He would make it just as clear if He really did want me to step down.



After much prayer, and being confirmed, I did indeed step down and had to decide which adult class I wanted to attend. After visiting one class (which I totally enjoyed!) I went to Crosswalk. I already had ties there - my husband attended that class before he started teaching again, and I also have lots of wonderful Christian friends in Crosswalk.

I am here to tell you now, this was a good choice. I have learned so much in the 9 months I've been in this class. It's like, when you're hungry, but you don't realize how hungry you are until you smell the wonderful food that's being prepared. I NEEDED to be fed spiritually and each week, I walk away with something. Some weeks it's affirmation, some weeks it's total conviction!



I thank God for the great leadership we have in this class, as well as the awesome members and visitors. God places us where he wants us for a specific reason and I'm grateful that He placed me with this class. I look forward to each week because I know something incredible is gonna take place!



Let's all pray each day that we can be the godly creatures that He would have us to be. Put self aside and minister to someone every day, even if it's just a friendly smile. Enjoy your gift.


in Him,
Sandra Stephens

What did people want from the early church?

Posted September 17 by Michael Palko
That question was posed in class a few weeks ago, and my first response to it was "They wanted a leader." Indeed, most wanted a military coup. Their life was hard. They wanted someone to free them from the oppression that surrounded them and to make things easier. Even Peter, "the rock" on which the church was built had a different idea when Jesus predicted his own death (Matthew 16:22).

However, the more I've thought about that question, I've come to the realization that people in the early church more likely just wanted someone to help them, someone to take care of them. When did Jesus gain followers? When He did something for or gave something to them. John 6:1-14 tells about how people began following Jesus when they saw the "miraculous signs He had peformed on the sick." Then Jesus feed 5000 men (and you know the women and children eat, too). Philip estimated the cost of that would have been more than "eight months' wages." People were in such a frenzy that Jesus had to "withdraw again to a mountain" just to get away and be by Himself.

I think what people in that time thought, or at least hoped, was that by following Jesus their friend and relatives would never be sick again and that they might not have to work so hard, or even at all, to earn the money needed to feed their families. How cool would that be? And while that may have been what lured them to that early church community, I think what they more likely found was that things did get a little easier because "All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had." (Acts 4:32).

Church is people. And aren't we just like the early members of the church community? I know I sometimes need help, as much as my "machismo" hates to admit it. I seek (and need) a respite from the demands of work, home, and family. I'm beginning to more clearly see "church" outside of the brick and mortar of "the church." I see it in a neighbor who helped me cut down a tree. I see it in a friend who volunteered to drive my kids home from an activity. And I have started to look for opportunities to do things for others...just because.

I think members of the early church were probably pretty surprised at how their lives changes. They didn't get the military leader that they'd hoped for, but instead their old ways of thinking and acting were attacked and overthrown by the good that comes from sharing and forgiving.

What can you and I do to continue that revolution?

Encounter of Affirmation

September 15 by Marthann Witzig
Today, I happened to be sitting on the wall outside the courthouse in Smithfield. It was a beautiful fall day--warm, balmy and bright. I noticed a lady of about my own age walking slowly towards me. She started to sit down on the wall, and I invited her to move closer to me in order to be in the shade. This meant that the usual "bubble of social space" we all try to maintain would be broken. She gratefully nodded and sat down close to me.

I commented on the beauty of the day, and she agreed, but I could sense a "heaviness" about her. She told me her story as I sat and listened. She had received a telephone call at work during the night telling her one of her sons had been arrested and was in the Smithfield jail. The long-story-short of it is that her oldest son had the unfortunate luck to be with one of his brothers when the brother "kicked in the door of his girlfriend's apartment" last night. (Dianne's "bad choices, bad life--good choices, good life" was ringing in my ears as she told me her son's sad story.)

I asked her name, and she told me it was "Carolyn" (our own daughter's name, for those of you who don't know our daughter). I asked her son's name, which she told me was "Will". Carolyn was very worried about Will because he is mentally impaired and doesn't always understand what is happening to him. She started to tell me how worried she was about how he'd do in jail around other more "experienced" prisoners, and was very afraid for him.

Right then and there, I asked Carolyn if she would mind if I (we) prayed for her son together. I have never in my life done anything like this before, and it surprised even me. I felt the Holy Spririt prompting me (as David reminded us on Sunday; the HS only prompts us to good things). She agreed, and we held hands, sitting next to each other on that wall in front of God and all of the dozens of people going in and out of the Smithfield Courthouse at noon on a Tuesday afternoon. (This part, I did not even think about until just this minute.)

I thanked God for this beautiful fall day, but then went right into praying for his blessings for Carolyn and for Will. I prayed that the Lord would guard and keep Will safe from harm and not let him become afraid. I also prayed for Carolyn to have peace of mind in knowing that Jesus was there with her son in jail at that very moment. I then asked God to be with Carolyn and Will in the coming days and to show His love to her and her family.

This was not something that I could have ever done without the knowledge we have learned at Crosswalk. I praise God for his merciful love for all of us and I will continue to pray for Carolyn and her family over the course of the next few days, especially. Will's court date is on Thursday at 10:00 in the morning. I will always treasure the look of gratitude, and dare I say, "relief" on Carolyn's face when we hugged after praying together.

David, you are right when you say that it is not just the "affirmed" who are blessed when we encourage one another, but the "encourager" as well.

God Bless -- Marthann

God Uses all Of Us

September 14, 2009 by David Ashcraft
Now Stephen, a man full of God's grace and power, did great wonders and miraculous signs among the people.
--Acts 6:8
Stephen, the first martyr of the church, died at an early age. This weekend in Raleigh, two young people died in senseless automobile accidents. And by all accounts, the two local people were outstanding Christians. Some might look at the way Stephen and these two people died and think, What a waste! But in the words of Jim Elliot, another young martyr for the faith, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

Earlier this summer, we studied about the local church and the talents various members have. We did not spend much time asking questions such as, What kind of person does God look for to use for His glory? What qualifies a person to be selected by God to be His instrument? Is it a towering intellect or how many PhD's person has on the wall? Do you have to be physically attractive? Do you need to be a born leader? How about someone who is a little timid? What about the person who isn't the most physically attractive? What about people whom many would classify as ordinary? Is there a place for someone like that?

As we read throughout the Bible, we find that God uses the most common people to do his work. Ordinary people doing extraordinary work. Many of us in CrossWalk are evidence that God can use all of us. If we are willing to be used.

So why does God do this? We find the answer in 1 Corinthians 1:27-29:Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.

Are you willing to be the ordinary person that God chooses to do something miraculous?

Forgiveness

September 8, 2009 by David Ashcraft
Throughout life, accidents happen; people do things unintentionally or intentionally to one another and have to either ask for forgiveness [1] forgive someone. It is easy to become defensive when apologizing – “I apologize even though I wasn’t at fault.” “Look if you want an apology, here it is: here goes, Sorry.” Likewise, when you are the one who has been hurt or taken advantage of, you must forgive – even when the other person has not asked for forgiveness! And, yes, you are right; forgiving someone who has really hurt you isn’t the easy action to take. But it is the Christian response. It is the right thing to do. Why, you might ask? Forgiving one another is taught demonstrated and commanded by Jesus and the inspired writers of the Bible. Let’s take a look at some passages from the Bible.

In Ephesians 4:3, Paul writes, Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you. Note particularly the phrase, “just as Christ forgave you.” Jesus, the Christ, is the example of how we are to live our lives. He left heaven to live on this earth as a man. He was sinless, and yet he was willingly crucified. He was totally innocent of all charges against him and still He was found guilty and hanged on a cross. He was murdered. Just before He died, Luke 23:34 quotes Jesus as he asks God to forgive those who murdered Him, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." So when Paul encourages us to forgive each other as Christ forgave us, he expects us to forgive those who wrongly accuse us; he expects us to forgive those who willfully misuse us.

Paul makes a similar command in Colossians 3:12-14. Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Note the phrase, “forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Jesus’ death on the cross is the payment for our sins and by that death Jesus forgave all my sins. He forgave all your sins. So, if we are to follow Jesus’ example, we are to forgive those who commit sins against us.

You might say, “But I don’t approve of what that person did to me. It hurt me deeply. It cost me money. It embarrassed me. It wasn’t right.” The Bible does not say that we condone sin or that we approve sin or that we approve a wrong against us. In fact, in Ephesians we find the encouragement - “Instead speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ.” We don’t deny the hurt that someone caused us; we can speak truthfully about the hurtful action. But we are to love our enemies and pray for them and yes, forgive them for the hurt they caused us.

Other passages which encourage forgiveness include,

Matthew 5:23-24. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 6:12-15. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.[2]

Mark 11:25-26. And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone forgive him that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you don’t forgive, neither will you Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.

All of these passages are Jesus’ teaching on the concept of forgiveness. As you read through them, do they portray forgiveness as just a feeling or as something that requires a deliberate decision? A careful reading will show that forgiveness does in fact require action on our part. And, note that these passages teach that if we are not willing to forgive others, God is not willing to forgive us. That is a very strong statement. Yet it is in the Bible and is a principle throughout the New Testament.

Although not mentioned in these particularly verses, we know that failure to forgive someone can eat us alive internally. We all know people who remain bitter and angry at someone - sometimes after that person has died. The Bible teaches that the better way is to forgive.

---

[1] There are many scripture references to forgiveness: in the Bible. Here are just a few:

Understanding God’s forgiveness should make us more willing to forgive, Romans 12:17-21

Forgiveness means forgetting the wrong committed against you, Psalms 103:12

Forgiveness is the first step in restoring a relationship, Matthew 5:22

Forgiveness is possible only through faith in Jesus Christ, John 20:23

We should grant forgiveness in infinite number of times, atthew 18:22

We should forgive before judging others, John 8:7

Forgiveness is tied to obedience to God , John 8:51

Forgiveness is the key to our relationship with God, Luke 11:4

Forgiveness changes bitterness to joy, Luke 15:30

Jesus forgave his disciples, Matthew 28:10

[2] Forgiveness begins when you choose to treat another person the same way you want God to treat you. It’s when you extend the same underserved mercy god extended to you through the sacrifice of His Son. Forgiveness happens when you let “God be the Judge of another and release all your anger and vengeance over to Him. It means that you set the offender free from the debt they owe you and let them out of the prison of anger you have keeping your heart. Love Dare Bible Study

It's Not About You

Copied from Chuck Swindoll
I need to underscore a foundational fact: God’s goal is not to make sure you're happy. No matter how hard it is for you to believe this, it's time to do so. Life is not about your being comfortable and happy and successful and pain free. It's about becoming the man or woman God has called you to be. Unfortunately, we will rarely hear that message proclaimed today. All the more reason for me to say it again: Life is not about you! It's about God.

How can I say that with assurance? Because of Paul’s response in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

That’s it! He got it, too. And he went with it for the rest of his days.

When you and I boast of our strengths, we get the credit, and we keep going under our own head of steam. But when we boast in what He is doing in the midst of our brokenness, inability, and inadequacy, Christ comes to the front. His strength comes to our rescue. He is honored.

Don’t miss that point. The very things we dread and run from in our lives are precisely what brought contentment to Paul. Look at the list: I am content when I lose. I am content when I am weak. I am content with insults. I am content when I am slandered. I am content in distresses. I am content with persecutions. I am content with difficulties and pressures that are so tight I can hardly turn around. Why? “Because when I am weak, then I am strong” (v. 10). Knowing that brought the apostle, ablaze with the flaming oracles of heaven, to his knees. What a way to live your life—content in everything—knowing that divine strength comes when human weakness is evident.

Paul recommends an attitude of unselfish humility. Quite remarkably, you never read where Paul said to his Roman guard, while he was in prison: “I need you to do me a favor. Next time you happen to be near one of the Emperor’s assistants, urge him to get me out of this dump. I shouldn’t be here in the first place. I’ve been here for one year, seven months, four days, five hours, and nine minutes, and that’s long enough.” Paul’s attitude of unselfish humility prevented him from keeping meticulous records of the wrongs done to him in Rome, or anywhere else for that matter. He was in prison by divine appointment. He willingly submitted to his situation.

Christ modeled the great emptying-out principle that permeated Paul’s remarkable life. If we want to learn contentment, developing an attitude of unselfish humility is the perfect place to begin. Start with your family or neighbors. Model it before your employees or clients. You won’t believe the impact that sort of selfless mental attitude will have on the people. You won’t have to raise flags or pass out tracts. Just demonstrate an attitude of unselfish humility. The results will amaze you.

Paul exhorts believers to have an attitude of joyful acceptance. Paul minced no words about how believers should relate to one another. “Do all things without grumbling or disputing; that you may prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:14-15). He sought an attitude of joyful acceptance, free of petty disputes and bickering. He pled for authentic joy. Nothing is more contagious!