Signs of the Times

March 9, 2010

I was thinking this morning about an upcoming Marriage Enrichment seminar at church and came across the following email from Dennis & Barbara Rainey. I've copied and pasted it below because I think it is right on target for many of us.

1 Corinthians 13:5

does not take into account a wrong suffered.

Although most people get married partly to find intimacy, many couples soon begin to raise symbols of isolation. The "I do" at the wedding ceremony too often changes to "No, I won't," and the original openness toward intimacy is transformed into symbols and signs of isolation.

Here are a few signs I've observed in couples as they experience isolation:

"No Trespassing." Paul and Michelle have worked through several difficult problems during their 25-year marriage. They are considered by many to have a model marriage. But over the years they have become alienated from one another because of an unsatisfying sex life. Too proud to seek counsel, they find they can't discuss the subject anymore. They have declared that area off limits.

The ticking clock. Near retirement, Ben and Mary have raised their family and are proud of their new grandchildren. Their marriage of 35 years has withstood time, but silence has now crept into their relationship. They don't know how to talk to each other because for so many years they focused their lives on their children. Now any relationship they once had is replaced by silence, broken only by the occasional squeak of a rocking chair and the tick, tick, tick of a clock.

The crowded calendar. Steve and Angela are both aggressive professionals, actively involved in civic responsibilities and their church. But ever since they started their family, they've noticed a difference in their marriage. Gone are the walks and late-night talks they used to enjoy. They're too whipped-they now live for the weekends. Fatigue is taking its toll and neither has energy left over for romance.

Prayer: Ask God to help you understand your spouse's perspective of the situation you're discussing. If you have no issues, give thanks to God that you don't!

Discuss: How about prayerfully discussing an area that has been declared off limits with your mate? Pray first. Resist blame and defensiveness.